Saturday, 28 December 2013

A Comfortable England Win? (Spanish) April Fool!!!


 

 

Ashes 2013

 

Another bad day, but 3-1 is clearly in sight

 

December 28th 2013

 
 

In Spain, December 28th is “the Day of the Innocent Saints” – the children slaughtered by Herod – and has become the Spanish April Fools Day. The Spanish tend to get taken in rather easily by news stories in European media on April 1st, never realising the tradition of trying to fool viewers, listeners and readers as plausibly as possible, but go to town themselves on December 28th.
Yesterday, the joke was on England.

If you went to bed at lunch in the Test, as many surely do, despite a rather poor bowling effort that allowed the last pair to score far more than they should, you would have gone with England’s lead past 100, with Michael Carberry at his most obdurate and with Alistair Cook stroking the ball like the Cook of 2010/11. You would have believed in Father Christmas, the tooth fairy and a seemingly inevitable England victory.
Despite a horrible post-lunch collapse from 65-0 and 86-1 to 87-4, KP, Ben Stokes and Jonny Bairstow seemed to be righting the ship. It was 173-5 and a lead of 300 seemed likely. Bairstow was counter-attacking, his short, but violent innings including four boundaries, two of them maximums (should that not be maxima, declining our Latin correctly???) KP was playing sublimely. It made what followed, with the lower middle order and tail making Nathan Lyon look like a combination of the best of Shane Warne. Muttiah Muralitharan and Jim Laker bowling on a minefield. Panic set in and players who know how to bat and can bat well, surrendered.

Australia need 231 to win. In a low-scoring match they have to significantly better their first innings performance. Even though they have knocked off 30 of them, they are not very much better placed than in the equivalent stage of the first innings.
England should still win from here. However, there is still that phantom in the wardrobe of Australia showing that this is actually a good batting pitch and sailing to their target by Tea tomorrow with only one or two wickets down.

Victory in a dead rubber seems to split opinion: some say that it would just convince England that everything is right after all (you can turn this around and say that winning 4-0 or 5-0 would convince Australians that all is right with their cricket when it is most clearly not and this series win may be simply a one-off); others feel that to turn things round and get to 3-1, or even a 3-2 result would be a major statement of intent. There are plenty who are joking that it is a ten-match series and delicately poised at 3-3, provoking serious sense of humour failure in at least one cricket writer who has taken these claims seriously and aimed a major social media outburst at it. Winning a dead rubber is like kissing your sister: it is a comfort, but nothing like as good as the real thing. I stick by that. It will make England feel better. It will show them that they can compete. However, it will not hide the fact that they have been seriously second best when the chips were down.

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