You Think That It Cannot Get Worse...

 

 

Ashes 2013

 

And it gets worse

 

January 4^th 2014

 
 

Little over half an hour into the morning session an innings defeat inside two days looked an odds-on bet. A pitch that looked totally innocuous for the England attack, looked unplayable for the Australians. A total well under 100 looked likely and with it, a humiliating follow-on when the follow on target was just 127. In the end, some slogging from Broad and Rankin against the change bowlers saved the follow on. It was hard to avoid thinking that Michael Clarke wanted to avoid the need to take a decision. As soon as the stand became annoying, back came Mitch Johnson and immediately brought an end to proceedings.

What have England learnt? There are various things:

·         The inadequacies of the side can no longer be ignored. Neither the batting nor the bowling are competitive.

·         Boyd Rankin looks like a fourth seamer at  best, with neither the pace nor the accuracy nor, for that matter, the guile to defeat the best.

·         A genuinely fast, 90mph+, bowler is a must.

·         Jonny Bairstow is not good enough either as a wicket-keeper or as a batsman.

·         Alistair Cook seems to struggle for ideas when under pressure.

·         Even the younger players like Joe Root are getting burnt out. Root has gone from being the young revelation of the side, to being a nervous wreck whose feet are encased in concrete. The high-intensity regime, where every aspect of the players’ lives is controlled is taking its toll.

There has been a “don’t blame the bowlers” attitude through this tour, but this match has shown more clearly than any other that the bowling, Stuart Broad apart, has been insipid. On a pitch that the Australians, even the friendly-paced Peter Siddle, made look impossible, the England bowlers rarely looked dangerous. Ben Stokes has had a good match, but he was somewhat flattered by his figures and averages a modest 35 with the bat and 33 with the ball in the series. That this makes him England’s outstanding performer shows how poorly the rest have played. KP is the only other batman to average over 30 and Stuart Broad is the only bowler to average under 30.

Australia have won in the same way that England did last summer. Even when their top order has failed – and it has in almost every Test – the last five wickets have rescued the situation. England have not had an enforcer to clean up the tail whereas, last summer, the situation was reversed: England scored bucketloads of runs with the tail, while Australia’s usually folded. In this series, the England tail has barely scored a run and, if someone has started to prove a nuisance, Johnson or Harris has been summoned to restore order quickly.

Once again, in the second innings, the top four fell cheaply: at 91-4 England just had an opening to restore some dignity, but that door has been slammed shut… again. The end will almost certainly come today and, if it does not, it will only be because Michael Clarke has batted on into the afternoon until the lead has surpassed all reason.