Laurel and Hardy, but now it's Australia in a fine mess...

 

 

Ashes 2013

 

Another Fine Mess You’ve Gotten Me Into

 

July 19^th

 

 

[09:00 CEST] Yesterday, Australia’s bowlers were taking wickets almost in spite of themselves. To be honest, they did not have a great day, although Ryan Harris added some real bite to the attack. Pattinson was expensive, Siddle steady by unthreatening and Agar had the sort of day where his 0-44 could easily have been 0-84 with a more decided batting side. England, having lost three wickets early after a quick start, had to re-build and did not have the luxury of taking liberties. However, having largely controlled the four Australian strike bowlers, they surrendered rather tamely to two bowlers who were expected to be bit players. Shane Watson has wanted to drop his bowling role due to injury and Steve Smith is reported to no longer consider himself to be a front-line spinner and it showed in the way that he was just brought on to hurry the new ball when Australia were desperate for a breakthrough in the final session.

Yesterday was striking for one thing: Michael Clarke’s captaincy. He saw the ball flying to the boundary in the morning and brought on Shane Watson for the fifth over – a major surprise – and Watson took Cook’s wicket first ball. He brought on Smith for a spell in the evening, a few overs before the new ball was due and he immediately found some sharp turn and took three precious wickets. What was turning into England’s day without question, finished as Australia’s day. You have to be impressed.

Despite the suggestions that this is a 500 wicket, I have my doubts. I suspect that there is much more for the bowlers in this pitch than people think. Australia did not use the pitch particularly well, but took wickets with some very good balls, although there were far too many bad balls in between that Trott, Bairstow and, especially, Bell could take advantage of.

Trott did what Trott does. There is a big hundred in there in this series and it is just a matter of when he finds it. Bairstow was incredibly lucky to get away with his clean bowled – yet again he missed a straight ball – and when you thought that he might make Australia pay with a century, he came up short. Bairstow still does not have a Test century and has been unable to convert any of his 50s. Can he convince the sceptics soon that his average of 32.9 is going to start to rise… fast? Were Nick Compton to make a comeback, the player most likely to miss out would be Bairstow: he can cut short the talk by making a century, but you wonder if he will come good in time. I suspect that the cut-off will be the 3^rd Test: then the selectors will re-assess the side.

And then, there was Ian Bell. Three centuries in his last three Ashes Tests. Quiet, understated, efficient. And yet, annoyingly, each time he has been out shortly after completing the century. Yesterday a 150 was there for the taking. It is churlish to criticise a man who is doing a brilliant job for his side, but it seems that he is just lacks that little bit of ruthlessness that turns a merely very good Test batsman into a truly great one. You cannot imagine Kevin Pietersen getting to 100 with the Australian attack wilting visibly and not going onto 140, 150, 160 at least. That said, without Bell’s runs, England would now really be in a hole and would have lost at Trent Bridge.

[18:20 CEST] Let's see if I have got this right. Since last week we have been told that England are a talentless team of pie-chuckers who depend totally on Jimmy Anderson to be competitive and Graeme Swann is the world's worst spinner, who will never give Australia problems.

Hmmm. Perhaps people were a little hasty in summing up this series?

Australia have the last wicket partnership to thank, yet again, for making the scorecard a little more respectable. The 24 that Pattinson and Harris put on was comfortably the second highest partnership of the innings. Jimmy Anderson took just a single wicket, that of Peter Siddle, as first Tim Bresnan – who Australian fans were asking England to pick – and then Graeme Swann (never rated by Australian fans) sliced through the Australian line-up. This time though it never looked like the last wicket pair would have a chance of saving the follow-on mark of 162. Swann ended up on the Honours Board with 5-44 and obtained huge turn at times even though he was spinning the ball less than at Trent Bridge.

To fall to 128 all out on a pitch that looked so good that people castigated England for not reaching 500, was pretty poor. At one point the camera focused on Darren Lehman on the Australian balcony. His expression of helplessness and misery almost made you feel sorry for him, Australian or not.

England, with a lead of 233, logically, declined to enforce the follow-on. No one wants to bat last on this pitch and Australia can look forward to being set 500+ with two days to bat to save the match. This is a critical innings for Joe Root. The match situation removes all pressure from him. England are, barring catastrophe, going to win; he can bat as long as he wants and needs a fifty, preferably a big fifty to avoid going into the 3^rd Test under real pressure to drop back down to #6. Right now you would have to say that Australia are the least of his problems. Intended attack leader James Pattinson was so poor in the first innings that Shane Watson was promoted to take the new ball, presumably on the grounds that he was more likely to make the quick breakthroughs that would offer Australia the only chance of getting back into this game.

Realistically Australia need to bowl England out for around 100. Once England pass the Australian 1^st innings total and Australia have to make the largest score of the match to win in the 4^th innings they know that the game will be up.

[21:30 CEST] Here we go again. England just needed to bat solidly to close out that match and ensure going 2-0 up in the series. The collapsed horribly again to Peter Siddle and, at 31-3, already probably have enough runs, but are certainly not trying to show that they are going to win in style.

England have, all too often, been mediocre in this series. That they should be winning it convincingly gives a strong indication of just how awful Australia have been. This time the tail could not bail out a top order that looks as solid as a blancmange, but less stable.

A week ago most people would have laughed if you had said 5-0. They still will. However, if England close out this match and get on top in the 3^rd Test, it will not sound so much like a joke. Australia have to find some spine from somewhere. England fans will not mind them having lost it in their luggage on the trip to the UK and will hope that the Lost Luggage Office at Heathrow fails to locate it. Before the series I thought that England could win 3-0, 4-0 if they got a lot of lucky breaks. After seeing Australia’s performances in the warm-ups I would happily have settled for 2-0 or 3-1. Right now it looks closer to a 4-0 final scoreline than to 2-0.